2011 Reflections

I’m reflecting over the last 12 months as the last few hours wind down for 2011. It was a good and difficult year. I don’t even remember January 1^st, 2011.

In January, I worked for a company as a temp-to-hire and I actually loved my job. But they thought I just wasn’t the right fit. It was quite discouraging. Not quite the way I’d envisioned starting off 2011.

We went through a lot of culture shock during January and February. We missed West Texas. We missed home. A lot. 

February through April brought more discouragement as I continued to look for permanent full-time employment. In the meantime, we celebrated Valentine’s with the church having fun and great fellowship. 

In March we went to Lubbock for the 2008 AIM class graduation. It was good to see friends and my sister. We really missed them. A lot. 

I began working for a boy’s group home in April and was met with some difficult challenges dealing with some emotionally distressed boys (not to mention growing into teen-hood!). It was rewarding some days getting to talk with the boys about Jesus, baptism and living a life for God. Other days I wondered if I was making a difference at all. And I was told by a co-worker that she loved that I lived like a Christian--especially in the midst of being at a difficult job. 

Thanks. Really, I needed to hear that. Really. 

We also had a chili cook-off hosted by the Grass Valley Church. Steve contributed a Texas Rattlesnake Chili that was purdy tasty, if you ask me! It was a sweet and spicy chili. I think he should have won in the top 3 for at least one of the categories. But alas, he didn’t. Until that Sunday morning, one of the judges presented Steve the award of Most Unusual and Unique Chili! I was proud! Most people liked it! 

Pepperdine Lectureships in May in Malibu, California attending classes and being encouraged by the wonderful works that are going on around the world. It’s always good to be reminded of what God’s doing, especially when we feel like we can’t see what’s going on. That helps me to be motivated and encouraged… at least just having a glimpse. I know that we can’t always know what God’s up to, but it helps me to keep walking with optimism.

Being the realist (aka pessimist, aka dream squasher and ruiner) that I am, having hope has been difficult for me this year given all the disappointments I’ve encountered. I don't mean to be a dream squasher or surprise ruiner. Sometimes with my mind spinning I think about things and point out to others how practically speaking, some things just won't be effective. And I often ruin surprises (usually meant for me) because I notice oddities here and there and innocently ask about them. No really, I'm innocent. No, really. I am. 

And yet my sister reminded me that I was living as if I believe that God wasn’t powerful enough to provide for me. I believed in the truth of that statement that God can do anything. But lacking in hope and faith that God would take care of what I was asking for was putting limitations on an unlimited God. That was a good needed kick to my rear.

In June, we drove to see my family in Washington. We spent the days tending to my dad’s garden, fishing and talking about the Bible and God. On our way back, we stopped in Astoria, Oregon, where I was born and lived until I was 8. It was weird to see that old house. It looks smaller than I remember. It has since been boarded up and probably condemned. But I had some good memories there!

We attended the Tahoe Family Encampment in July. It’s always good to be refreshed by the saints you haven’t seen in a while! And the view was nice!

July and August for me meant work, which equaled stress. The longer I worked there, the more stressed I was becoming. But Steve was faithful to pray for me and encourage me. My shoulder was fractured in August (the same one that was fractured in my horse accident in January 2010) due to a work related incident. After that, I decided to quit. As much as I know those boys needed to hear about Jesus and see Jesus lived out, I couldn’t do it anymore. My emotional stress level was so high that I didn’t eat much, even when I wasn’t working. And I’d cry a lot before I went to work. A friend told me about a work from home job, so as soon as I had that lined up, I quit at the boy’s home. It was hard because even with the boy’s difficult attitudes, I did enjoy them—sometimes. But I sure do enjoy working from home! That was definitely a blessing!

In August we moved up to Grass Valley. Before that we were living with Steve’s parents about 80 minutes south of Grass Valley, called Rescue. We’d been looking for a house to buy while saving up some money. But we’d decided to rent until we could buy. But the housing market up here just doesn’t have what we want in our price range. So, we’re still renting while we’re waiting. Our realtor is great! I’d recommend her to anyone!

My good friend, Katrina, and her 4 kids came to visit. We spent the time gold panning, seeing California gold history and just enjoying a refreshing time together—all of us in our studio apartment. Did I mention that we moved into a studio apartment? No? Well, it was like a huge slumber party, Steve said.

I can’t think of anything memorable in September. Oh wait! I had a birthday! But it wasn’t memorable. I’m one of those that most years I don’t really care to celebrate my birthday. Maybe just with family and a few friends. Steve’s parents came up and we had a good time with them. Steve took me out to dinner and it was all around a quiet day.

Oh, yeah! And my good friend, Amy, flew me to Houston for the week for her birthday in September. It was good to be able to see her and spend time with her. I miss my friends in Texas.

I think we even had the college retreat somewhere in here. I just can’t remember what month it was. But it was good to get to know Ken, who hosted the event at his house. I love how the church supports each other! We read about the beginning of Jesus’ ministry in the 3 synoptic gospels, gleaning from His wisdom and experience.

We spent a lot of weekends with Steve’s family in October—birthdays, pumpkin picking, gold panning. No, we didn’t strike it rich. With gold selling at over $1000 an ounce, it’s possible!

We also took the high school youth on a retreat for a weekend in October. It’s good to get to know the teens in a different environment and continue building relationships with them.

Steve’s brother, Jon, hosted Thanksgiving was in November for the Melton family. It was a blessed event. We got to take the leftover turkeys home and made lots of great dishes with leftovers! Turkey pot pie, turkey soup, turkey buffalo wings, turkey broth, turkey quesadillas…

December came and went so fast. My friend, Katrina’s, grandma passed away suddenly. So, we drove the 4 hours to help out in the few days before the funeral. Aside from the loss, it was good to spend time with them.

We spent Christmas with my family in Washington. It was good. My dad didn’t want to put up the Christmas tree (because he didn’t want to be the one to take it down), so we used a huge plant! And it worked well! We went fishing with my brother and nephew and didn’t catch anything. I got my bacon press that I’d been wanting. My dad thought I’d sent him on a wild goose chase because he couldn’t find it in most of the stores he went to looking for one. He’d thought I was making it up! Nope! It’s for real!

We came home, and the next day drove an hour to have coffee with our friend and current AIM student, Sarah Harris, and her sister, Katie. Sarah’s from the Tahoe area and was home for Christmas. We got to spend a couple of hours with them before Sarah headed back to her field in Miami, Florida. I always love hearing how God is working through them!

Then today, the last day of the year, we spent most of the day with Steve’s family exchanging presents with them while making memories. I’m not a big fan of Christmas because of the strong commercialism and materialism I feel retailers promote. However, those opinions aside, my favorite part is watching other people opening their presents. I don’t really care about getting stuff for myself (although I do enjoy my presents!). And we’re on a tight budget so we couldn’t afford to give much this year. But we’ve loved the time we were able to spend with those we did!

And throughout the year, Steve’s been teaching the youth class and filling in preaching when needed. We’ve had youth devos at various youth member’s houses and gotten to know some of the families in the church a little more.

The Wednesday evening church assembly was postponed until further notice as late fall was approaching and the skies were darkening earlier. (Not very many people were coming). Steve and I were a part of the youth classes teaching and facilitating discussions. (The guys and girls were separate on Wednesday nights at their requests). I was kind of sad to see it end for now. Hopefully, as the days are getting longer people will start coming again!

So, with Wednesday evenings “free”, we started driving to Auburn (about 45 minutes away) to participate in a small group with some church members who live there. It’s been an encouraging experience being with them!

West Coast Missions has been put on hold pending finding another family to come here to be a part of WCM full time. Earlier this year we all recognized that we need more help. So, until that lucky couple can be found (and willing to step out on faith, pick up their roots and move here), we’re waiting.

To sum up this year for me in one word would be discouraging.But 2011 had it's shining moments--some good laughs. So, reflecting on the last 12 months, I’ve also seen how God has been faithful to provide for us at every moment through friends and family. Through words of encouragement. Through words of rebuke. Through words of comfort and peace.

Yep, our God is awesome! Although I hate big changes and unmet expectations, God is still growing me and presenting me with opportunities to grow! And some days it's still tough to make the most of those opportunites... and then I get a card in the mail that reminds me to have hope and persevere that God will provide a way to make things work. I just need to keep walking by faith one step at a time. 

So, what’s my resolutions for 2012? I’d like to say eat right and exercise more. But hey, I’m a realist. I’m not sure that’s gonna happen—much.  Maybe. There’s hope, I suppose.

But here’s my commitment:

• Pray more
• Read my Bible more
• Set my mind on things above more
• Hope more
• Be more joyful
• Smile and laugh more

 And I think those are plenty of good things to work on and I believe that God will do good things through me and to me this year! So, as I end the year munching on homemade potato chips using my new Kitchen Aide slicer my brother-in-law, Dan, gave me, I contemplate the end of just another chapter in my life--a chapter where God has used me beyond my knowledge to shine the light of Jesus to others during my struggling times and he has used others to shine their light for me to see that I may be reminded of how good and awesome he is. 

And if the world does end in 2012, then I’m just happy to be going home! 

For God works out all things for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose.—Romans 8:28

With God nothing is impossible.—Luke 1:37

The End is Near!

Well, the end of the 2011 year anyways. 

Good-bye, 2011! You were a good year. I will remember some of you. 

Thanksgiving is now just a fading memory. Christmas is over. And the new year is quickly approaching. January 1, 2012 will be just another day~well, another Sunday anyways. 

And so, 2012 is rapidly approaching. The year the world is supposed to end according to some Mayan calendar. I guess that's who predicted it. 

And well, maybe there's some truth to that. Because it will be a different world in 2012 just as each day is a different day. The world our grandparents knew when they were children is a different world than we know it today. Technology didn't exist then as it does now. Lifestyles were different. Diet was different. So many things have come into existence that have greatly affected the "look" of this world. 

     The horse and buggy died sometime after cars were invented. 

     The internet has revolutionized communication, shopping and information gathering. 

     Facebook changed the definition of friend.

     Facebook, twitter and texting have affected social skills of today's younger generation. 

     Coffee can still be taken black with or without sugar... but we have so many more choices now! 

     Homosexuality is an accepted lifestyle practice. 

     Christianity seems to be vastly more criticized today than decades ago. 

I don't know when the world is going to "end" and when Jesus is coming back. Scripture doesn't clearly state that. And I don't know exactly how that's going to happen. But what I do know is this: 

   

1. We have an eternal hope
2. Jesus is coming back for His followers
3. We will get to meet Him 
4. We will get to be with Him forever
5. And that is worth being encouraged and encouraging others! 

       ~I Thessalonians 4:13-18 

And so with all the adversity, transitions, trials and difficulties we may have faced this year (because everyone has them), those are all behind us. We can't change the past, but live in the present and look forward to the hope of the future blessings to come~the hope of Jesus taking us to heaven!

And that keeps me walking by faith.

And so, as 2011 closes and 2012 enters in I will probably go to sleep before midnight on December 31 and wake up on January 1 like it is any regular day~ because it is. 

And I will still thank God for his blessings as I assemble with the church that Sunday as I patiently wait for His return to come get me!

Somehow I Got Out

I noticed the other day that I somehow got out of the boat. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be~it was a little scary. But I only got out of the boat so far. I think this is the beginning of the next journey...

But I Don't Wanna Get Out of the Boat!

I just recently started reading If You Want to Walk on Water, You've got to get out of the Boat by John Ortberg. It seems to be a really good book about not being afraid to talk good risks.

I've finished the first chapter and concluded that I’m not ready to get out of the boat-- again. So I put the book down for now. I’m just not ready. I like my boat, winds waves and all.

I've never walked on water like Peter and Jesus have, but I've had my fair share of steps and even leaps of faith—from becoming a Christian to going to AIM, to moving to California. 

So, I know I can do it. But I’m not just ready for more. 

I need a longer recovery time from big changes the older I get. Sigh. Yes, I just admitted I’m getting older.

Honestly, I don’t like big changes in my life. I don’t like moving. I've lived in six different states in my life, three of them twice, and one foreign country. I’m comfortable being in one place where I have established friends, a good reliable job, a church I’m connected to, a community I know how to navigate around without a gps.

AIM was a leap of faith for me. When I’d heard about AIM , within two weeks, I'd quit my job, had about half of my support and was on my way to Lubbock. It was an answer to a prayer I’d prayed months earlier—just not really what I was expecting, but better!

Deciding to date Steve, who is now my husband, was a leap of faith. I’d been hurt a lot in the past. I was comfortable with myself being single, but I really liked Steve and knew he was the one I’d been praying for. And now we’re married and still growing in our faith and marriage.

I wonder what the other disciples would have done if Peter or even Jesus invited the others to get out of the boat that miserable night on the lake. Survival was their priority. Would they have gotten out, too? Even after they saw Peter walking towards Jesus?

Maybe the fact that Peter was sinking reaffirmed to the disciples in the boat that they had made the wise choice to stay in the confines of ‘safety’—‘cuz you know, that boat was impervious to the destruction from the wind and the waves! They did survive. They got to the other side of the lake. And I wonder what thoughts were going through their minds.

Did they think Peter would be immortalized because he’d gotten out of the boat?  Did they have doubts because they stayed in the boat? What possible rewards or benefits did the others see that Peter received because he got out of the boat? He got wet. He started to sink in the water. What lessons did they learn from it? Were they jealous of Peter? Did it even affect them that Peter got out of the boat in the midst of a perilous storm that was about to tear their boat apart and leave them to survive being tossed by the waves?

I know that sometimes faith happens in small doses so that we can take those leaps of faith in the big things later on. Each growth moment in AIM was to prepare me for something bigger later.

The older I get, the more comfortable I’m getting—even in my faith building moments. I’m not an adventure seeker. I’m not a risk taker. I don’t like change. (It doesn’t help that my introverted personality inhibits that kind of faith taking plunge.) 

Routine is my stability. It brings me peace to know I can count on certain things every day. 

So, it’s hard for me to ask God to change me because I know that means opportunities to grow in those areas will come—and they will be hard. How do I know that? Well, from past experience. I was sent to a place once where I was challenged to speak out boldly against sin and to stand up for God—all because I’d once prayed to be uncomfortable so I can grow in my faith and character. Yep, that was my prayer. And those were some  hard months to endure. I’d wanted to give up being a Christian because I was tired of struggling. I was tired of fighting Satan.

I was worn out.  

But I held on because I knew that God is real and that if I gave up on Him what that meant. And God was faithful to give me strength through my brothers and sisters in Christ who were standing up with me. 

I wasn’t alone. 

I never have been in any faith leaping decisions. God has always provided support from my church family. Always. Even when I didn’t specifically ask. But because my heart and mind were focused on the things of God, He kept me walking on the water.

So what will motivate me to get out of the boat? I don’t know yet. I know from my past experiences that getting out of the boat in faith is hard. And that the journey is often hard. But that Jesus is always there to help me to stay afloat—drowning is not an option—no matter how much I feel like I am. 

Good thing my feelings don’t dictate and determine reality!

I’ve been asking myself the questions, “What is it that I need to get out of the boat for? What do I need to do that’s a step of faith?” I can’t even find an answer to those questions.

And so I wait patiently in the boat for Jesus to walk by on the water. And hopefully when that moment comes, I’m ready to get out in the wind and the waves and walk out to Him. I haven’t prayed that prayer yet for God to put something in my life to where I need to get out of the boat in faith because I’m just not ready.

So, the little faith baby steps are what I’m taking each day. Like taking a short road trip to be with my friend whose grandma died when I didn’t have the money to really do so. She needed a friend and I wanted to be there for her. Like getting up in the morning and praying anyways, thanking God for the blessings he’s given to me. Like looking for a job in faith that pays well enough to pay the bills, and yet gives me a ministry purpose and reason to look forward to going to work. And still I look, and wait in faith for the storm to come, for the wind and waves to come crashing down and Jesus to walk by to help me.

I think the reason I’m not ready is because my cup is still very empty. “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” And I am not overflowing with God because I’ve not been spending time I need to be with Him to be filled up. I’ve been involved in so much giving in ministry these past several years that I’ve not stopped to truly let my cup fill to overflow. I give out of what I should be nourishing myself with first. And that’s run me dry.

And so, maybe that’s the reason I’m not faced with a faith challenging battle. I’m not ready because I don’t have the strength to fight right now. I need for God to fill me up to the brim and then some, so that out of that overflow I may have the abundance to give to others. Or maybe I just don’t want to open my eyes wide enough to see the opportunities God’s already put in front of me.Maybe it 's both. 

And so as I’m spending time with God through prayer, his word and the church, he’ll be filling my cup up. And when that time comes, I plan on getting out of the boat—and maybe even finish reading that book. 

C.S. Lewis and The Last Battle—My Battle with Lewis’ Theology

Okay all you theologians, literature enthusiasts and C.S. Lewis scholars….I need your help reconciling a theological allegory in Lewis’ book The Last Battle in the Chronicles of Narnia series.

Even if you’re not a theologian, literature enthusiast or C.S. Lewis scholar, that’s okay! If you have a perspective to help me understand what I’m about to ask, then by all means, contribute!

(Spoiler alert! If you haven’t read the books and don’t want the ending spoiled for you, then you might not want to read on. )

I need to presume some allegorical connections that I infer C.S. Lewis meant before I ask my question:

     Aslan resembles Jesus. The idea of Tash takes after Satan.     
     Aslan’s country is heaven. Yes? This is what I’ve concluded.

Disclaimer/Qualifer/Addendum: Keep in mind that the thoughts that follow below are not intended to imply that we can earn our way to heaven by doing good deeds. I understand that we don’t earn heaven, but that it’s by God grace through Jesus Christ that we can confidently come into His presence. This is important to remember when reading what I have to say.

Towards the end of Lewis’ book The Last Battle in the chapter Further Up and Further In, the world of Narnia has just ended. It was destroyed by Aslan himself. After Aslan separated the creatures (to the right and left) and the world is ended. Peter, Edmund, Lucy, Digory, Polly, Eustace and Jill , who travelled to Narnia in previous Narnia books,  are in Aslan’s country with other Narnian creatures Aslan allowed in.

Another creature, a man, made it into Aslan’s world also. He’s from Calormen, a place neighboring Narnia and follows the god, Tash. Everything he ever did was for Tash. He came with his fellow countrymen to conquer Narnia. And somehow he made it into Aslan’s world.

C.S. Lewis’ theology disguised in the conversation below is what I’m struggling with. It goes something like this:  

“…I have served Tash all my days and not him [Aslan],”  Emeth, the Calormen, says to Peter, Lucy and everyone else there, recounting his encounter with Aslan when Emeth entered through the small door to Aslan’s country as Narnia was ending.

“Son, thou art welcome [into Aslan’s country],” says Aslan.

“Alas, Lord, I am no son of thine but the servant of Tash.”

“Child, all the service thou hast done to Tash, I account as service done to me.”

“Is it true then that thou and Tash are one?” The Lion growled so that the earth shook…and said, “It is false. Not because he and I are one, but because we are opposites—I take to me the services which thou hast done to him. For I and he are of such different kinds that no service which is vile can be done to me, and none which is not vile can be done to him. Therefore, if any man swear by Tash and keep his oath for the oath’s sake, it is by me that he has truly sworn, though he know it not, and it is I who reward him. And if any man do a cruelty in my name, then, though he says the name Aslan, it is Tash by whom he serves and by Tash his deed is accepted.”

To be objective first, what is your perspective of this conversation?

What is Lewis trying to communicate to the reader here? Really, think about this before you read on. I don’t want your perspective to be tainted by mine.

My struggle is this: It seems that Lewis is saying that one can serve Satan (Tash) by doing good deeds and it be credited to God/Jesus (Aslan).

I know that God can credit anything he wants. And I know that it’s not by our good deeds that we earn heaven. 

I get that.

Emeth then says, “Yet I have been seeking Tash all my days.” [He still acknowledges serving another god.]

“Beloved, unless thy desire has been for me thou wouldst not have sought so long and so truly. For all find what they truly seek,” replied Aslan.

So if this foreigner was following Tash all his life and didn’t even acknowledge the existence of Aslan, how does he get into Aslan’s world? Emeth admitted twice to only serving Tash! 

The Bible says:

²¹“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. ²² Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ ²³ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

~Matthew 7:21-23 NIV

How then can one do good deeds, not know Jesus and go to heaven? This seems to be what Lewis implies in the above conversation. I know a lot of good people who do a lot of good that don’t know Jesus, but from my understanding of the Bible, being “good” and doing good doesn’t qualify you to get you into heaven. Jesus does. And having a relationship with Him is key.

I can’t think of a scripture to reference that indicates that those serving Satan and doing “good” will get into heaven. I believe that Satan is capable of doing good deeds. He masquerades as an angel of light. Does that mean he’ll get to go to heaven? I believe that he twists the truth just enough that it’s believable enough for people to follow, but they’re not following God.

Eve ate the fruit in the garden. Like the Pharisees in Jesus’ time. They thought that what they were doing was God’s will. And yet they committed murder in the name of God. They lied. Some probably put power as their “god”. The Spanish Inquisition was done in the name of God. The Crusades were done in the name of God. Killing in the name of God. All because they said their purpose was to serve God when in reality I think it was to quench their own desires for greed and power. They can say and even believe their purpose is right, but if it goes against God’s Word, then they’re the ones in error. Not God. God knows our hearts, what’s truly in them.

But I digress.

It seems to me that Lewis is implying that one can serve another “god”, or Satan as the allegory implies, and still go to heaven.  Is this a reasonable conclusion for the allegory? And I don’t mean that one can serve another “god”, then later serve God and go to heaven—because that is not the impression Lewis seems to be giving here. There is no indication that Emeth ever chose to seek and serve Aslan.

If this is not the correct interpretation, then please help me to understand the theology Lewis is trying to convey in this conversation between Aslan and Emeth. Really. Because I like C.S. Lewis. I’ve loved the theology he’s included in the whole Narnia series. And I don’t want to not like him based on this one part of his book if this is the theology he’s trying to convey to the reader. I just don’t agree with that theology.

Again, I ramble.

I don’t understand how if I choose to serve Satan (or other “gods”, or myself as my own “god”, money as my “god”, etc.) how those good deeds in that service equate service to God. I know there is only one God, Jehovah. And I know that many people follow Satan in different forms and most don’t even know it or believe that they are. So if I don’t believe or know that there’s One True God and I do good works and I never seek Him, how then does that “allow” me into heaven? (Again, our works don’t get us into heaven.)

Even if I was seeking “a higher power” or a “spiritual being”, but have no relationship with God, how does that get me into heaven?

And yes, I know God can do anything. But I also believe that He has “conditions”. Our God loves unconditionally. Yes. No matter what bad things we’ve done, He loves us and wants us in a relationship with Him. But there are “conditions” for a relationship with Him. Sure.

We must meet Him. Get to know Him. Obey Him. Have faith in Him. Keep trying to follow Him. Believe in Jesus. Praise Him. Honor people—especially fellow believers. But it is still by His grace that He lets us into His presence and into heaven. It’s not a game or a race. It’s not about “Who knows God best”. God wants us all there. He wants us to choose Him and to serve Him. It’s not about our perfection, rather about His. Jesus makes us perfect because we can never be perfect. And God demands perfection. That’s why He sent Jesus to satisfy His wrath through perfect obedience to the Law and to sacrifice His life to pay the price, which is death.

Steve says it’s just a fictional story. Yes, I agree. But I think we must also agree that Lewis wrote this story with metaphorical references to Jesus, heaven and the Bible~that there is a message Lewis wanted to share with his readers. 

Yes?

Well, I think so. If you don’t, then we can sit down together and discuss it.

So, what do you think? Am I correct in what Lewis seems to be implying? Do you have some other insight that may help with my perspective of this conversation and theology Lewis seems to be implying? I am having a difficult time reconciling this section of his book with what the Bible teaches.

I welcome your thoughts. Don’t hold back. But be gentle. J

Tis' the Season

Thanksgiving is over. Leftovers still abound. Well, at least in our apartment! While doing dishes at Steve's brother's house, Lorien, our sister-in-law mentioned that she only likes turkey sandwiches as leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner. I started rambling other possibilities to use leftover turkey for:

• Turkey soup (it's so delicious!)
• Turkey pot pie
• Turkey casserole
• Turkey omlettes
• Turkey sandwiches
• Just eating the turkey as it is

Her response? "Ok, Forrest Gump!" (Well, what she really meant was "Bubba", but we both didn't catch that!) I thought the response was both appropriate and funny. 

Now it's time for Christmas. Christmas songs are playing. Christmas movies are showing. Lights are going up. Trees are ready for cutting. Santa is checking his list. Snow is falling~ somewhere, just not here. 

Sales are happening (it's Cyber Monday as I type this). And money is being both spent and saved. 

I have a difficult time with Christmas. I understand and appreciate what the meaning is supposed  to be about. But I feel like the whole holiday spirit is lacking~ a lot. 

People line up to get the best gifts for the least amount. Hey, I'm all about saving, just not at the expense of the loss of life or limb! Or an eye. Maybe a tooth. I could spare a tooth.... or a nail. They grow back, right?

We don't have much money for gift giving this year. So, we're having to be creative and thrifty. And I'm okay with that, because we're blessed regardless of how much money we have. 

And Steve keeps asking me what I want for Christmas. And my response is, "I don't know." 

World peace? That'd be nice, but won't happen. (I'm just being realistic... it's a blessing and a curse, I know.) 

A million dollars. That'd be great, but it won't bring world peace. 

We have good friends. We have good families. We have a place to live, food to eat, clothes to wear. 

And I still have my two front teeth. 

What more could I want? I have a relationship with God. I am saved from my sins through Jesus. I have hope to go to heaven one day. I have an inner peace that surpasses all understanding because of Jesus. I have confidence to come before God and ask Him whatever I want (doesn't mean it's what's best for me, but I can still ask!). Jesus is the best gift I could have ever received. And I got it from my Heavenly Father. (My dad gives pretty good gifts, too!)

I'd rather just spend time with mine and Steve's families, enjoying a good meal, having a good time, making memories with one another. 

That's what I want for Christmas. 

And some wool socks. Maybe a bacon press. (What? I had time to think about it while I was typing!)

 But my life won't be anymore blessed because of those things. My life is blessed because of relationships. 

And I thank God for them~ for you. Because you are the people that make our lives blessed. You may have never given us a gift in your life... at least not one that costs money. But you've given us the gift of your time, your advice, your friendship. And that's what we love about you. 

You are a gift to us. And we hope we've been a gift to you. 

May this Christmas "season" be about being the gift of a friend to someone else. May it be about sharing the love of Jesus to those around you, because He came to serve, not to be served. 

He came as a baby to experience humanity so that He can relate to us. He understands the temptation of sin. He wouldn't have wanted to sin if it wasn't a temptation. He understands the desire to serve self. He understands the struggle of emotional and physical pain. He understands you. 

He came to love those who need it~ which is everybody. 

24 Days of Thanksgiving

Steve preached his lesson today on being thankful. I won’t tell you what it was about (in case he wants to preach it somewhere else one day! You’ll just have to catch the lesson then!)

But being that it’s the holidays and all, I suppose I might as well participate in the Thanksgiving sharing spirit of how we’re blessed. No, it’s not a burden to express thanks. I just forget to do so! A lot!

They’re not in any particular order of importance or preference--just things I’m grateful for. Since Thanksgiving Day is on November 24^th this year, I've written 24 things for which I’m thankful:

1. Food- God declared all animals clean. I am thankful that we have the privilege to eat just about anything—especially bacon. Mmmmmmmm, bacon!
2. Warmth- I’m not a fan of winter. I do appreciate it’s need for plants and watering the lands. But I prefer warmth. It makes me feel, well, warm inside.
3. Freedom—Not just the “American” freedoms, but the spiritual freedoms we have in Christ. The truth has set me free and I am free indeed. And Satan and death no longer have power over me!
4. Friends—We are created for relationships. Friends give hugs when needed, whether asked or not sometimes! They fill a need for belonging, conversation, silence…to pick you up when you’re down instead of kicking you and leaving you there.
5. Enemies—Well, without them how much less would we appreciate our friends? And they keep us on our toes…keep us accountable in a way with the way we live our lives! They’re a reminder to me that they need Jesus, too. Jesus came for them as much as He came for me.
6. Family—It’s true that we don’t get to choose the family we’re born in to, but I’m grateful that we were both born into families that love us and want what’s best for us! And are there for us!
7. Electricity—It’s one of my favorite inventions of all time! Without it, I’d probably go to bed earlier and there’d be no internet, television, radio, computers (eek!), internet (double eek!). But with it, we have the potential to do so much more! (Could imagine a church service without power point?! Ok, maybe you can. But let’s face it, sometimes it helps!)
8. Letters—The correspondence kind, not the alphabet. While it is important to know the alphabet in order to write letters, I appreciate written correspondence. It communicates thoughtfulness to take the time to hand write something. You can’t hit the delete key and start over. If you want to start over you have to well, start over. Or cross out what you don’t want, but the reader can still read it anyways. It takes thought to write without error. And time to put a stamp on it, go to the post office and mail it. I still have letters from friends tucked away safely.
9. Facebook—It allows me to keep up with people that I probably wouldn’t call or write. At least I know something that’s going on in their lives.
10. Reconciliation—Being friends with God. There’s no greater relationship to have that one with God through Jesus.
11. Steve—My husband. A good preacher and teacher. A student of God’s word.  One who is often forgiving, giving and kind.
12. The Printing Press—I love books. I have a lot of books that I want to read, but haven’t yet. School kind of  ruined reading for me. I do like to read, I’m just not as in to it as I used to be when it was for recreation rather than as an assignment. BUT with the printed word we can duplicate so much to share with others!
13. Creamer with Coffee—The person who discovered that you can roast a coffee bean, grind it, then process it with water is a GENIUS! And the same goes for whoever invented creamer. A little coffee with my creamer, please.
14. Grace—Getting something good that I don’t deserve or earned. Getting a present just because someone loves me. That’s what God does. He gave us Jesus just because He loves us and wants us to be with Him!
15. Mercy—Not getting the just punishment for something bad I did. Whew! No eternal separation from God for those who are in Christ. No weeping, no pain. Just joy and service to my Lord in Heaven.
16. Shoes—I love shoes. Boots. Slippers. Sandals. They’re just cool.
17. Fun times with People—Memories are made with people. I rarely have a good memory of something I did by myself. But I remember lots of good things that I did with good people. That’s what life is made of. Memories.
18. The Difficult Times—These are what challenge us to grow in our character. They give us a chance to shine our light of Jesus to the dark world. They can make us or break us. We can let them define us in a negative way, or we can choose to find the good in the difficult circumstance and make the best of it.
19. Plants—They give oxygen for us to breathe. Not just for humans, but for animals, too. We disperse carbon dioxide which plants take in to produce oxygen, which we take in so we can survive. God is a genius.
20. Scars—They’re the memories we have that remind us of how good God is and that he’s not through with us yet. (And it could have been worse!)
21. The Church—The people, not to be confused with the building where the church meets.  They pray for you. Help provide for you. Help you move. Then help you move again. Bring you food when you’re sick or injured. Replace your water heater when it’s broken and profusely flooding your garage. Pay for your plane ticket for your honeymoon. Set up your wedding reception for you. Laugh with you. Cry with you. Share words of advice and wisdom with you. And then prays for you again after they’ve helped you move your stuff one more time that you’ll finally stop moving! (What? Our God is the God of the impossible!)
22. The Combustion Engine—Not to be confused with the Combustible Engine, which apparently I do so often! While I do appreciate the horse and it’s strength and endurance, I appreciate the engine for it’s adaptability. I can go 60 miles, well, in an hour or so. I can fly quickly to see my family by plane in the case of an emergency. Now… if they’d just get that tele-transport machine working! Beam me up!
23. The Power of Touch—Touch has the power to make you feel good or make you feel awful. The right kind of hug can make you feel loved. The wrong kind of hug can creep you out—even just thinking about it. A high 5 can empower you more than a slap on the face. Jesus touched people when they needed it most—as a means of meeting a need—the need to be loved through touch.
24. The Sacrifice of Jesus, the Christ—What more needs to be said about this? Well, ok, fine…I’ll tell you! I am thankful for the selflessness Jesus had to die, to defeat death so that I don’t have to suffer sins consequences to be eternally separated from God. Because of His death and resurrection, I can now have the confidence to come directly before God in confidence and that he will give me grace and mercy in my time of need. And He does.

The Harvest is Plentiful...But There's Planting To Be Done!

Being the "Holiday Season" and all, I've been thinking about the fall harvest. Back in the "day", people used to have harvest gathering and feasts to celebrate the abundance of crops.

Harvesting is fun! (Well, I think so, anyways.) You get to see the fruits of all your hard work. And enjoy it. And share it with others so as to bless them.

I didn't used to like to garden as a kid when I'd have to go help mom harvest the garden in the summer. Planting was even harder work. We had to prepare the soil, get rid of weeds and rocks, give the soil nutrients. Plan the planting of the seeds. Make the rows. Plant the seeds. Cover them. Water them. And then work regularly to keep the weeds out so as to not steal the nutrients from the crops. And keep watering. And weeding. And more weeding. We had a lot of weeds.

I hated weeding. It was a lot of work.

But I loved eating the fruit! Especially strawberries!

It's crazy to think that one planted seed that is nourished with sun, air and water grows a fruit--or many fruit in most cases. And that one seed that grew that one fruit has many more seeds inside to grow more fruit the next year. One apple seed grows into a tree, which can sometimes produce hundreds of apples in one year... and each apple on that one tree from that one seed has the potential to produce hundreds more apples if planted.

I think God knew what He was doing when He created plants and their survival. They can survive without man's help.

They do it all the time.

Each type of seed has it's harvest time. A tomato may come to fruition earlier than say, a pumpkin. It depends on weather and soil nutrients among other factors. But nevertheless, those seeds grow fruit at different times of the year.

If you left a pumpkin to decompose (or rot) over the fall through spring, the seeds can get planted and grow more pumpkins where the rotting pumpkin was the year before. It may seem like the rotting pumpkin was wasted, but it wasn't. It was doing what God designed it to do~ it survives. If not eaten, it reproduces through decomposition when it gets planted in the soil. When the rain waters come it grows into the plant God designed it to be~ pumpkin.

The "right" conditions may make the plant grow faster and maybe even yield better fruit. But we can't make the plant grow. We can help it along by watering it, putting it in the right setting for sun or shade, giving it food. But I can't make it grow.

The same goes for those with whom we are sharing the gospel. I can tell them about Jesus. I can live my life for Jesus and show them Jesus in that way. I can pray for them. But I can't make them accept the seed~ that is, the word of God. I can't make them choose God. But I can be involved with nourishing the seed in their heart to grow to love Him and choose Him. I can be involved in the process.

I can plant seeds. And most times it's hard work. And not often fun. You're involved in the weeding and watering process. And it seems unproductive at times because you don't see the fruit fast enough, if at all.

And when that seed is ready for growth, it has the potential to plant many more seeds which has the potential to grow more fruit for the Kingdom.

So this "holiday season", when we're out buying gifts for others, eating our meals together and enjoying each other's company, plant seeds in the hearts of those whom you meet. It may be the cashier at the department store, the clerk at the coffee shop, the server at the restaurant... it may be your friend for the last 10 years who doesn't know Jesus... or maybe even your family.

Because there are people out there who want to know Jesus, who want to belong to His family. The harvest is plentiful. And the planting still needs to be done. So while some are harvesting the fruits of other's labor for the Kingdom, we can be planting seeds as best we know how.

And God will make it grow.

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body...So it is with Christ. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. ~1 Corinthians 12:12, 27 NIV

It is for Freedom...

America. Home of the Free.

Today is November 11. Veteran's Day. The day we honor those who have served in the military protecting values such as freedom.

Freedom is something I probably take for granted. A lot. I don't utlize my American freedoms in some ways. I can. But I don't. And I don't abuse them either. At least I hope not.

Soldiers have a different kind of sacrifice to give. Some give up being with their families for long periods of time. Or altogether.

Some ultimately give up their freedoms, including their lives, so that our American freedoms are preserved:

• Freedom to speak, well, freely. Like on this blog. I can say what I want whenever I want about whomever I want.


• Religious freedom. I am not forced to be a Christian. I choose to be one.


• Free to bear arms. While I don't own a weapon, I can if I want to...after a waiting period, of course.


• Freedom to assemble. I can be with a group of people in public or private.


• Freedom to petition~I can ask the government to do something or to stop doing something that I don't like or agree with.

We have the freedom to...

• go anywhere in our country


• work anywhere, with any company we qualify for


• have a family~ more than one child


• join any political party one chooses


• own private property

Is it worth any soldier's life so that you and I can have these freedoms? I believe that only the individual soldier can answer that question. Even though I don't fully know or understand what our soldiers so for us, I DO appreciate the sacrifices they give so that others may live--with freedom.

And so today is the day we set aside in our nation to honor such men and women who have given their time, energy and yes, even their lives in so many ways, so that you and I and our friends and families can speak our minds, worship God and live wherever we want to.

Soldiers strive to protect our physical and abstract freedoms. And for them, I am so grateful. So I thank you, American soldier, for the freedoms you give up so that Americans can keep theirs.

On a spiritual note...

Jesus' believed we were (are) worth giving up His life to set us free.

Sin separates us from God. (Isaiah 59:1-2) And so we needed someone to bring us back into that relationship with God. And Jesus did by dying on the cross to defeat death and so was brought back to life. This is the gospel, the Good News. And since all have sinned, no one is immune to sin's consquence, that is, death.

Unless you're in a relationship with God through Jesus.

But being in Jesus Christ says that we belong to God and have the hope (dare I say, guarantee) of being resurrected so that we can be in heaven with Him.

And so it is for freedom that Jesus set us free. Not to indulge in sinful behaviors, rather so that we'd serve one another in love. (Galatians 5)

He set us free from the fear of death. So if we are in Christ, we don't have to be afraid to die, because when we die (because we all will) we don't have to be afraid to be eternally separated from God. (Hebrews 2)

And so through this freedom we can approach God's throne with confidence. I have freedom to talk to him. (Ephesians 3)

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. (2 Cor. 3)

And so I am free. Free from the wages of sin, which is death. Free from the fear of death. Free to talk with God with confidence without being afraid of His wrath.

Jesus gives us spiritual freedoms. And because of His sacrifice, I am eternal saved and freed from anything can have a hold of fear over me because my God is a powerful God and through Him and because of Him nothing is impossible. Nothing.

It is for freedom that Jesus set us free..

Update on Steve's Bell's Palsy

Steve's regained full use of his facial muscles! He still has some weakness, but he can close his eye all the way, smile, make faces at people~ you know, the important things!

We just want to thank you all for your prayers! It's a blessing and encouragement knowing that there are people out there like you who are dedicated warriors for God. It means a lot to us!

You mean a lot to us!

So thank you. And we thank God for you.

Oh, Me of Little Faith....

I was reminded today of how faithful, consistent and generous God is. While I was working from home, I was listening to a Christian radio station. The song "Come Home" by Luminate was playing. Part of the lyrics are "...you can't outrun grace. No, mercy doesn't care what you've done..."

While the song was playing, I began thinking about my struggle with having hope concurrently with faith. In a previous post, I talked about my struggle with disappointment over the last year. Struggling with having faith and hope together. I have faith, but hope sometimes eludes me when something potentially exciting comes up--because I don't want to be disappointed.

I can't out give God. He's more generous than I can ever be towards Him. And yet, when I'm struggling with my faith and having a hard time with having hope, He still keeps giving. He still keeps working even when I don't see the evidence of it.

And even when I sin or doubt God's power to provide and answer my requests in His timing, He cares about me.... and He keeps on forgiving me.

Every time.

And so I was reminded again of how good God is. Steve's regained partial control of the right side of his face as of yesterday. Today, there seems to be even more ability to move his muscles. We can guess what kind of treatment he's been following that's allowing the muscle movement, but in all reality, God's the one in control. And so we give thanks and praise to God for even this small blessing--which to Steve (and me) is huge!

When Steve showed me his face muscle moving, we were both elated! I'd never seen him so joyous! And I got the best hug ever from him! It's amazing how we take the little things God gives us for granted. I know I take for granted that I can smile with my whole mouth, because that hasn't been taken away from me.

And so we're learning to be more thankful for the little things... and praise God for the blessings He's given us in life. Not just the physical blessings.... but even more so the spiritual blessings.

Like not being able to out run God's grace.

And mercy not caring what I've done.

And God seeing me just as if I've never sinned.

And Jesus always being an advocate for me to the Father.

And that because of Jesus, I can have direct access to God and have confidence to approach His throne.

And my sins are forgiven.

So I get to be with God in heaven.

And that's worth telling others.

So, I may struggle with having faith at times. Not faith in God. Not faith that He even exists. But it's really about letting go of control of things that I can't do much or anything about. God has the power to do all things.... and I need to trust Him that He will. Because there have been so many answered prayers in the past and God has always provided.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28